I miss her

Two days back my maternal grandmother came over to stay with us for a day. It felt so good to have her with her, though she talks very less. Its a great feeling to have someone of that age and knowledge. She knows more than hundred proverbs for sure and uses them at the right time with right people. Has set of rules for herself and her family and makes sure we all follow them. These rules are nothing that would make us sad or angry. So we follow them to make her happy. Her small cotton bag is always filled with cookies and sweets.

Her one day stay with us made me think about my paternal grandmother a lot. She passed away few years back. I still can't believe this. I've never cried after she left us 'cos it feels like she's just living at cousin's place and will be back soon. She was my best friend. I used to wonder when people said their grandparents were very close to them and shared everything. I had not lived with grandparents till my paternal grandmother came to stay with my family.She had taken care of me a lot during my childhood which was forgotten along the years. I felt a bit uneasy first few days as i had to share my room with her. But i noticed that she never spoke too much and never expected to spend time with her. She had her own routine and never interrupted ours. It was somewhere after two or three weeks that she asked me to join her for morning walk. I joined her next morning only to find her walk more than 8 rounds around a huge park. Real big park. I couldn't manage to finish three rounds. I was 19 and she was 78. So you can imagine.

One day I was out with friends and came back home very late. Parents were obviously wild and so had to listen to their anger words for an hour or so. I was angry too. Went to my room to find grandma waiting for me. She had excitement in her eyes and a smile on her face. And asked me how my day was and where i went with friends. It felt so great to come back home to a friend.

There are so many things to say and write about this awesome lady, can start a whole new blog just for her. Today I don't have her physically at home and i  miss that. Miss showing her new clothes, Miss not taking her to new malls, sharing mid night snacks and stuff.

But it might sound very movie type, but most of the days I really feel she's around. Feel she's looking at me during walks and laughing whenever i stop after every round. I feel her telling me its good to make mistakes and just remember not to repeat them. I feel her in Me.   

Today's not her birthday or any other special day. Its just another day when I miss her.

Bad Bad Bad

Bad Hair Day and No Clothes Day together spoils your day completely. Don't i sound like those super fashion conscious types? Let me tell you something about myself. I'm not into fashion, clothes, jewellery, bags and stuff. I repeat my clothes so often that it makes my friends think I'm stingy to spend on new clothes. I usually wear them till they tear. Not that i don't wear torn clothes. I'm not really into shopping. Get tired in an hour. So buy what seems fine in the first shop i enter. I even make my best friend shop for me 'cos I'm so bad at choosing. You get the point, don't you?

So you must be wondering how can someone like me bother about bad hair day n not having enough clothes? I wondered too today morning. But i woke up, saw myself in the mirror and actually got scared for a minute and then started worrying. Scared what might happen if i look like this weird every morning and worry for those who work with me for eight hours a day. Thought to shave my head and say i did it for good cause crossed my mind. But mum and dad would kill me for that. Somehow managed to get used to my super scary hair. But when there was absolutely nothing in the closet to wear to work, i lost it. This happened 'cos most of them had to be washed or pressed or both.

Anyways, have worn pink trouser with a white shirt (half pressed) and hair which looks like bad wiring done by a really bad electrician. God.. I don't know what I'm typing.

Post after a week..!!!!

I have been so busy that nothing other than work has been on my mind. But exactly ten minutes back, something made me leave everything behind and just click on "create new post" and start typing. As expected, i don't really have anything to say. But just the fact that i did leave work behind to write a post is making me super happy. I feel like a writer..!!

Lets keep another fact aside that real writers might wake up middle of the night or not finish a meal just to run to their dark writing room (with simple yet great furniture and perfect lighting) and come up with a thought provoking article or a whole book that would in future win an award. But that's not me. I am at my work place, next to a colleague saying " system's too slow" every two minutes, on a floor that's not lit well (saving electricity) , with the irritating air conditioner sound, typing this post with nothing on mind.

Anyways as per Google's first meaning, a writer is A person who has written a particular text. So i can obviously call myself a writer.

Second meaning is "A person who writes books, stories, or articles as a job or regular occupation."

Lets just consider first one. 

B'day Post

Past two days I've heard my family and friends ask me "what plans for birthday?" so many times that I'm actually wondering if staying home is not considered normal anymore.

I understand its normal for anyone to ask this question and sometimes even i ask this same question to others. I'm going to stop though 'cos every time I'm being asked what i plan to do on my birthday, can't think of much to say. I'm not into getting dressed up for hours, paying out of my budget to have a meal or to attend a party, look at extremely thin girls wearing awesome clothes that i don't think can afford for next few years ( even if i start saving from next month), feel jealous and come back home tired. I've done this during college days and I'm pretty sure was not happy about it back then too, but did it anyway 'cos didn't have enough sense to decide on what suits me and obviously didn't want to feel left out. Just followed the crowd. But i don't regret. Have had fun those days and made great friends in between.

Back then, my best friend and I used to take more than five hours to just planing our birthdays. Used to make list of things to buy for the day n everything. It was fun. Now things aren't the same. There's no planning. I might have lunch or dinner with friends. Or might even just stay home with family. It really doesn't matter to me much if i go out on birthday or not. During college days, when anyone asked about plans, used to have lot of answers. Now i just say "Nothing much, as usual".

This is not feeling old or sad about anything. I'm happy about spending my birthday like any other normal day.

Guest Post by David Masters

On Jealousy and Laughter

This is a story about Kavya's blog, and how it is getting around the world. I found Kavya's Yellow Umbrella blog on the front page of Google.

I'm a writer and more than anything I long to write a novel. But when I sit down to write I often feel blocked. I feel jealous of all the writers who have been published. I think: "How come they get to have their books published, and not me?" It's a stupid question when I haven't even written my novel. Yet the stupid question stops me from writing.

Recently, I decided to do something about it.

I typed in "Writer's Block Jealousy" into Google, and the Yellow Umbrella blog came up. I found Kavya's post about how she feels jealous of bloggers who suffer from writer's block.

"Why am i not having writer's block?" Kavya wrote. "Oh my god. I feel so left out."

Reading this, I could only laugh. I suffer writer's block because I am jealous of other writers. And here was someone who was jealous of people who suffer from writer's block.

Laughing helped me see my problem from another angle, and helped me to take myself less seriously. When I'm laughing or smiling, it's difficult to feel jealous.

I'm grateful to Kavya for showing me another point of view.

Did I cure my jealousy? I don't know. Maybe it will always be here. Maybe it will slowly fade. But I did start writing fiction a little every day.

And there's good news for Kavya too. I read that she finally suffered from writer's block.

So we both have reason to celebrate!

This is a guest post by David Masters.

Is it just me????

Is it just me or do you guys believe too that happiness makes us fat?

Its definitely making me very fat. Page view count of blog increases and i grow fat, Gulab jamun in lunch menu and I'm fatter, make plans with friends to have cupcakes whole day and i feel heavy to walk around, even before having two cupcakes. I agree last two sentences have food in them which had in huge quantity would make anyone feel heavy but you know what I'm talking about.

Happiness actually makes me fat i think. Now that never stops me from being happy though. Its not that my food intake increases the moment I'm happy about something. Maybe its all in my head. Can't really say.