Anger management

When kids are angry, they scream, cry, roll on the floor screaming, not have a meal but might eat lot of sugar. How can we, so called grown ups react?

I'm very very angry right now. So angry that not able to put the reason in words. What am i supposed to do? How can i react to it? Though tempted to follow all of the above mentioned that kids follow, Its just not possible to even  try one of those and vent out my anger. Keeping calm and trying to look at the good side of things are not working right now. What do you guys do to show your anger and get it over with? Please let me know. If its something that i can try and still feel like a grown up, would love it.   

Till i get suggestions from you guys or anyone, will be having lot of sugar which might work. Screaming, crying and rolling on the floor might not make me look sane at my work place.

Right to eat at desk - LOST

A month back I was having Samosa at my desk at work. I saw the facility guy staring at me. Didn't take it seriously and continued eating. After like five minutes, facility manager comes up to me and says "Kavya, you are not supposed to have food at your desk". I was so embarrassed and should have just apologized and gone back to work. But i had to make fool out of myself more, so said " But its just Samosa" to which he replied "Its food" and then walked away. My work friends who were seated around me pretended not to hear all this and i thank them.

Today, few minutes back, was having cookies at my desk hiding it in a tissue. It worked. Only problem doing this was my fear. I was looking around for facility people every time i took a bite and this obviously didn't let me enjoy the cookie.
 

Moral : Once caught, can never enjoy the same mistake again.

Goa

Was in Goa over the weekend and enjoyed every bit of it. I did not spend much time taking pictures, just sat back and relaxed. It wasn't really about going to famous places in Goa, but i just spent lot of time at the resort and beach with family and it was great.

 I've changed my mind a little about traveling. Its actually fun when you have good company and don't have a planned list of places to visit where you are dead tired at the end of the day. Visiting new place every time you get a chance is great i guess, every weekend or month might not be possible, but i want to travel as much as possible now. This interest is new to me and i hope it lasts long.:-)

Here are few pictures i took over the weekend.

Try your best

Sometimes when we've been assigned lot of work or responsibilities, we panic, think about every single move, question our capabilities, worry about lack of experience in certain situations.

But we forget to remember that we have been handling few of the most important responsibilities very well. I'm talking about how we are trying our best to be a good daughter/son, brother/sister, parents, aunts/uncles and best of all friends. If you think i can't talk about doing a good job taking care of these relationships while saying trying our best, I believe and will always say that as long as we are able to put our best efforts into it, its working. We are doing a great job at managing all these responsibilities. 

As daughters and sons, we fall a lot, hurt our parents, make them cry, give them hell lot of reasons to worry about us. But there is always a point where we think about making them happy, proud of us and that's us trying our best and trust me it works.. :-)

As sisters and brothers, we get jealous, fight over things that don't really matter, make each other look bad to parents just to cover ourselves. But we do come to a day where as an elder sibling, you wish to see your younger one grow in life more than you. As a younger one, you wish to be just like your elder one and admire them. Though you might never accept this and talk about it face to face. 

I can't really talk about parents views and opinions as I'm not a mother yet. But the closest to feeling as a mother is having a niece. I have a smart and crazy niece who makes me think more than any of the current affairs do. I want the best for her. Want to change myself to be a better person just so she can get to see me a good aunt. Most of all i don't ever want to be an aunt who tells her what's right and wrong. Want to be that person she confides to when she makes a mistake and learns from it. 

At friendship, we always give in our hundred percent. We are completely ourselves with friends, no fake feelings, no real jealousy, no pretending, real joy over friend's happiness. 

Feel great about yourself for trying your best in life. Feel proud.. :-)

What is it?

 A friend of mine still has her clothes that were bought five years back. She's not ready to put them away. Its just kept in her closet and is looked at once a while when she feels like. Another friend of mine has kept few chocolate wrappers for more than eight years.

People keep movie tickets, paper cups, posters, pens and so many other things as it reminds them of someone or something special in their life. But I still have the sim card of my old phone number. Spice connection, which is now called Idea. I prefer Spice and still call it that. Its a pre-paid connection which I've not used for past five years. Don't think anyone other than my family and few very close friends have this phone number of mine. Yet i can't throw it away. No emotional attachment to it yet can't throw it. While buying a new phone, let go of the one i liked 'cos it was a single sim phone. Bought a dual sim one just to keep both sims. 

Have thought about this and can't think of any reason for my action. It freaks me out.

My question : Is it just the emotional attachment that make us keep things like phones, movie tickets and stuff? If its not attachment, What is it?

Flashback

I've read in so many books about how forgiveness is one of the greatest power and how it makes us a better person. There has been days when I've thought about this and let go of my anger and hurt and spoken to those who hurt me. And I've never regretted those decisions 'cos i let go of my anger for those who care about me and didn't really mean to hurt me.

How did i get to know that they didn't mean to hurt me? Obviously by talking to them about it. I agree with those who say they can't talk to people who hurt them. I take my own time to come in terms with myself after getting hurt, think about what was wrong in the whole situation. Its hard to think about what went wrong 'cos we start thinking about who went wrong. Which doesn't take us in the right way.  If we continue to have blame the other person thought process, can never make up our mind to even try sorting things with them.

One other way that has worked with me in sorting things with a friend or anyone in that case is what i call flashback. Talk about the days where you both had lot of fun, talk about how each others ideas and suggestions helped, talk about things that made you both laugh before the fight or the argument. This has worked with few friends of mine who fought with me and things went back to the way they were after giving a tour to our flashback.. :-)

What I'm trying to say here is take time to think about it, find out if you really matter to them and give a try to sort things. If it doesn't, then they don't deserve to have you in their life.

Here & There

Was at the Orchid Show organized by The Orchid Society of Karnataka at Lalbagh. They were so beautiful.

Here are few pictures taken by me.

Post by Vagmi R Bhat

A small baby needs fifteen hours of sleep because they need to grow up more.

A grown up child needs twelve hours of sleep to grow a little more.

An adult needs six to seven hours of sleep because they are already grown up.

But my 23 year old grown up chikki (Kavya) sleeps for fifteen hours. What can i do?

Thanks,

Vagmi

Thank you

Was talking to a friend of mine about how we never thank those who make our lives better everyday. It can be our cab drivers, facility guys at work, cafeteria guys and so many more. How many of us have ever thanked them? I haven't thanked them all enough is what I'm sure of.

I don't get what the problem here might be. Is it lack of expressing our feelings or just taking them for granted and don't see a point in thanking? Or if we get into the habit of thanking all those who help us everyday, will we be saying "Thank you" more than other words. I think to some extent we all do take them for granted. I know most of us don't mean that in bad way where we treat them differently. Its just that after few days we have an understanding with them and don't really think of thanking and apologizing. Just like how we take our family and friends for granted and don't go thanking them for everything. This understanding is good but once in a while its nice to acknowledge what they are doing for us.

I've heard my cab mate thank our driver everyday for the past seven months or more. I want to know how both feel about it. Will try to ask them about this. Has it become a habit to my cab mate to thank? Is driver hearing him thank everyday? How does he feel about every employee who travels in his cab thanking him everyday? Will he get irritated? I don't have the answers to these yet, but i do for one.

Will these questions make the driver uncomfortable while answering? YES 'cos my driver never speaks more than two words.. :-)

Dream job

Have you felt happiness when you've been so occupied with work that you forget about other things going on in life?

Being busy with work is a good thing. (Once in a while) Was so busy past three days that i could actually shut my mind towards everything else and just think about work. Yes, was physically tired end of the day but had a feeling of content with what i was doing. I call this happiness as i enjoy working. When they ask me how long i plan to work, all i can think of saying is as long as i enjoy working, i will. The day i feel I'm not happy with what it, will quit.

Was talking to a friend of mine and was surprised to hear about her dream job. She wants to clean the windows of really tall buildings. Another friend of mine always wanted to be a traffic cop. My niece wants to be a security guard to the locality we live in. A colleague of mine wants to be a truck driver. My dream job is to have a library or a book store of my own.

It feels great to think and talk about it, but how many of us really work towards making our dream jobs come true? What stops us from trying? Is it fear of not earning enough from it? Or do we not know where to start?

Come to think of it, my friend can get in touch with the facilities people and get trained on how to clean windows and give it a try. Friend can talk to a traffic police and learn about how they manage traffic and help him out. I'm sure Bangalore police would be happy to have another person to help with the traffic. If my niece wants to be a security guard even when she reaches the age to work, i would encourage her to work towards it. I can get in touch with my friends who read a lot, collect all the books and have a small library on weekends.

The problem i see is even in this post, I've said "I can" and not "I will". I can't expect and advice others to work towards making their dream jobs come true until i do so with mine.

Friendship

Is friendship measured through the number of friends in your Facebook account?

I can't even believe people measure friendship, its ridiculous that they talk about it as a subject to be proud of. One of my mum's friend proudly declared that her daughter has more than thousand friends in Facebook. Mum obviously had no idea about all this. So when she asked me how many friends i had. She was worried that i didn't have many friends. Its only when i explained about how people can accept stranger's requests and call them as friends, she felt better.

Another way of measuring I've come across is the way people talk about how strong their friendship is 'cos of the number of years they've known each other for. I can't agree to this at all. You can have a great friendship with someone you've known only for a month or two. Its also possible to call someone your friend for more than ten years and talk bad behind their back.

All I'm saying is lets not try to measure friendship. Its pure and not something that needs to be declared by us. Its like how they say about power. If we really have the power, we don't need to show it. Its seen. If we really have great friends, don't have to talk about it. The world can see the happiness of friendship in our eyes and smile.

Diwali

Gone are the days when we celebrated Diwali for three whole days. Miss going to Malleshwaram ground to buy crackers, buying three sets of clothes for three days, scared to burst the first cracker and when it doesn't burst, being worried about the whole cracker box. Running around at the last minute to find a bottle for the rockets. Looking at the night sky which would be colorful only for those three days. Its not just the crackers and the lights i miss. Its the excitement people had few years back to visit family and friends on festivals.

I don't really see that nowadays. Forget about festivals, even on normal days we don't just go to our friend's place now. We call and find out if they are free before meeting them. We make plans to meet and don't keep up. 

Can we go back to being the way we were? Is it possible to go back when all we think about is the future?

Dream/Reality

I have a friend who thinks people who love reading live in a book world and can't accept reality.

Being a person having more books than clothes, i don't agree with this at all. Most of you book lovers wouldn't agree I'm sure. But i do say that while reading, i go into a different world and think through the characters of the book. This does not mean we can't see the reality.  If we were living as per the books we read, you think we would be buying our jewellery from those gold palaces and other shops? Wouldn't we be expecting everything from the Tiffany.?

Lets assume for a minute that we are living in our book world. Would we survive in it for a long time in this over crowded city? Is it possible to have silky untangled hair after a long ride in our Bangalore? How often do you see a girl falling right in front of a taxi and being helped by a handsome man who would like to have coffee with her? In reality the moment girl falls, more than hundred people would get into a fight with the driver and forget all about helping her. We might be able to live in a dream world. But for very short time.

My advice :  As long you are in a dream world, have fun. Once you are out of it, continue having fun.. :-)

Mind games

Its a strange feeling when you have time to do what you like and yet end up doing something else and feel bad about it later. To me this happens all the time. Going back home from work, i make all possible plans to read for few hours, write if possible and then go to sleep. But i go home, have dinner in ten minutes, watch TV for four hours and sleep. Next morning i feel bad for my book and decide to read at night. God.. This really happens everyday.

I'm sure many of you out there have gone through this 'cos i hear so many around me saying they have all the time to spend on things they want to, but never really get to it. So I'm thinking.. What is this? Laziness? It can't be 'cos we are doing something else at the same time. Even if we are just staring at the wall at that time.. what can i say? That's not being lazy, its called crazy.

OK.. I'm going away from what i had in mind. Oh.. I guess this can be another reason. We go away from what we have in mind. Our mind just forgets. Everyday.

I'm gonna stop before my mind decides to go on a different direction.

Song

I have been listening to the song Rolling in the Deep for past so many days that it just won't go out of my mind. But its not Adele's i've been listening to. Its by Angela Vazquez from Vazquez Sounds that i just can't stop listening. This girl can sing so well. My god. I guess most of you might have heard this song by her 'cos she's so famous. A friend of mine made me listen to her and i've not been able to stop after that. 

Pain post

If you are someone who thinks physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain, you've obviously not gone through wisdom tooth pain. 

This is really killing me. Really. I can feel myself going down hour by hour. Not able to eat, sleep, work, watch television. Nothing Nothing. Even watching the stupidest videos not helping me. This pain is making me fight with everyone, get irritated for things that don't really matter, take the elevators, listen to songs which i don't  usually listen to, not smiling at the reception lady. I din't even have green tea today. Oh god. have i gone mad? 

Worst part of it all is staying hungry and not able to eat. Which is making me angry at those who are able to eat. That's everyone around me. 


P.S : If anyone comments " Have fruit juice" I will delete the comment.  

P.P.S : You see how rude this pain is making me? :-( 

Fall and Learn

The lane i stay in is so dug up that it’s tempting to take a long way to reach home just to avoid jumping and falling.

Yes i fall a lot. It happened just day before. Around two in the afternoon, on a call with a friend, i fell right into where it was dug. Same night at nine without the street lights, i walked home without even kicking myself once. What do you say for that?

In the daylight when i could see the road clearly, i fell. At night when it was very dark, nothing happened.

I can't stop thinking about this. Do we fall even when we can see very well? Is it our fault that we take things so light that we go blind on the road ahead of us? Mum had told me not to talk over phone while walking in my lane as I’ve fallen many times.

This is another thing. Even when people advice us against something as they've seen or had a bad experience, we still go ahead do it and fall. Why?

I know why I do it. Would rather fall, get hurt and learn than never having to know how to deal with it. Many have argued with me about this that sometimes we might never be able to get up from the fall. To which all I can is, if we want to... really want to get up, we can. I can’t think of any other better answer than that.

No tv today

Its raining in Bangalore for past god knows how many hours and its beautiful. Can't believe I'm saying this 'cos I never really talk about the weather and I hate rain. But today its amazing here. Long weekend, have a good book, mum to cook, phone switched off, chocolate truffle and lots of potato chips. All perfect except for one thing. There's power cut here, UPS died few hours back and I can't live without watching television for at least three hours a day.

So I'm right in thinking that just when we feel everything's fine, something goes wrong to make you realize that life's not perfect and can never be. But we need to understand that no matter what happens, this day will pass just like every other. And one day in the future we will think about what went wrong and smile about it thinking how much a better person we are today for facing it and learning from it.