Things to do in 2013

1) Find the thief at work. (The one who stole my water bottle. He/She has gone one step ahead by stealing my colleague's official trophy from his desk)

2) Get passport

3) Give cooking a try. I mean real try.

4) Watch Shawshank Redemption.

5) Talk in Hindi without laughing at myself.

6) Do not eat chocolate or a sweet after every meal.

7) Try Yoga. (Assuming Shilpa Shetty's yoga CD still works. It was bought long back and the CD has been thrown around a lot)

8) Wake up at seven every morning and go for a walk with mum.

9) Do not fight with friends and family. (For more than a day)

10) Do not force people to read blog.

11) Buy pepper spray, swiss knife and stun gun. (No state or city is safe and the torch i carry is not enough of a self defence product )

What plans????

We have come to that time of the year when everyone, including kids who spend whole day watching Chota Bheem asks you only one question. "What plans for 31st night?"

I don't get it. Is it mandatory to have plans? Can't i just spend 31st night like any other night? Have dinner, watch TV for sometime, read and go to sleep. I've understood that people judge you based on your plans. Been telling everyone I'm working that night 'cos i am and the response i got was so funny. Few of them called me a boring person. Really??? You think I'm boring 'cos I'm not partying that night?

If fun to you is partying, good for you. I'm not judging you. I'm not defining you 'cos there is no need for it. Understand that not every person needs to be at a party with loud music and dim lights to have fun. I'll work and spend time with my family 'cos i like that. You think i don't have fun doing this?

What I'm trying to say here is don't waste your time, energy and words in judging a person.

No more music

I have this habit of listening to music with maximum volume in phone. This might actually be the reason I'm gradually going deaf. But can't help it. Even if a particular is already one of those loud can't understand a word type, i listen to them in maximum volume. In earphones. This is good for me while traveling in Bangalore 'cos it blocks the traffic noise around me. But not so good when the cab driver is trying to ask you about the route and you don't hear it which makes him think you are rude.

This habit of mine once made my parents scream at me. Few days backs had a huge fight with dad while having dinner over a silly thing. So finished my dinner as soon as possible and locked myself in the room listening to music in earphones. As usual volume was at maximum and could not hear anything else. After like twenty minutes, i got a call from my dad's number. This was strange 'cos why would he call when I'm at home. So cut the call and opened my room door to find my parents really worried and scared. Mum just sat down without saying anything. Dad then got really angry an explained that they were knocking on my room door and calling out my name for past fifteen minutes or so and were scared i didn't respond. He was about to go round the room and bang on the window when my smart niece told them to give me a call and check. Which obviously worked. Dad was more worried 'cos i had just had a fight with him. I felt so bad about the whole thing.

I'm not going into the details on the long lecture i got from mum about it. I'll just say that I'm no more allowed to listen to music in a locked room.

No end

The world cannot end tomorrow.

I have so many more books to read, movies to watch, places to visit, people to meet, clothes and bags to buy, languages to learn.

Most of all, i want to apologize to all those I've hurt and few hours is not enough to do that. There are also people i want to forgive and just not ready to do so. It takes time. 

Time is what we need.

Its not going to be finished. It just can't end.

We are not ready. We are not ever going to be ready.

Hero, Heroine, Friend and Driver

Last night on my way back home in the cab, was with my friend, who lives very close to my place. So we are usually in the same cab. Best thing about this friend of mine is she always knows when i want to talk in the cab and when i want to just look out the window and listen to music. There are days when we talk and gossip whole drive back home and then days when we don't say a word to each other.

So last night as usual we got in the cab and it was one of our "look out the window" day. After few minutes, she answered a call and was over excited and happy. Reason being, the guy she kinda likes was waiting for our cab just to look at her. They were both so so happy. He waved and she laughed. The cab didn't stop. He followed the cab in his bike for next twenty minutes and spoke to her over phone. I know some of you who are like me will be thinking "That's not safe at all. What's wrong with him?" But the lover boy obviously didn't care about it and lover girl couldn't say anything other than "Oh ma god, Oh ma god.. how sweet" :-)

It was all so Bollywoodish that i loved it. Was the first time i experienced something like this. I felt like those side actors or those girl friends of the actress in a movie, who don't say or do anything other than smiling. But i loved it. Was so happy for my friend that i felt like clapping and hugging her once the lover boy went on his way. I could feel her smiling till we reached home. What more could i ask for? Bollywood experience and my friend smiling at the end of a tiring Monday. It was a perfect end to my day 'cos i was smiling too.. :-)

Loving the bijlee song

I can't stop listening to Matru bijlee song. Love everything about it. To me, Anushka Sharma and Imram Khan are the best among the new set of actors in Bollywood. Have liked them in all their movies. Can't wait to watch their next movie.

Thief : GO AWAY

Its December and i expected few gifts from Santa. But from when has my life gone the way i expected? Instead of Santa, a thief has entered my life this Christmas at my work place.. :-(

He/She is stealing things like Chocolates, Cheetos, Markers and stuff. Few days back, bought a pack of those cute little chocolate muffins and kept in my credenza. Next morning, Its gone. How is this possible? 'cos i lock the credenza everyday before leaving. Its so freaking irritating. Just last week, i had a long interrogation with my niece thinking she's the one taking chocolates from my bag. Feeling so bad about it 'cos now I'm sure its not her.

I've been tolerant about this for too long and i won't anymore 'cos today my Tupperware water bottle is stolen. If any of you have read my post on my Tupperware bottle, You'll know what I've been through to buy that bottle. Had to let go of my made in china bottle, took a lot of advice and suggestions and finally made an investment on Tupperware. But now its stolen.

I have decided to draft an email listing all the things I've lost over the past two months and send it to the facility guys at work. Let them go through the feed from security cameras and give me an answer and get my water bottle back.

Until then, will manage with those coke or fanta bottles.. :-(

Victim of Blackmail.. :-(

Emotional Blackmail  : When the people in your life use fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you. It is a very powerful form of manipulation in which the person directly or indirectly threatens to punish you if you don't compile with how they want you to behave.

Some examples of things Emotional Blackmailers say are: "If you really loved me..." "After all I've done for you..." "How can you be so selfish..."
An emotional blackmail artist will use your vulnerabilities and deepest secrets against you.

Wow..!!! That's what i found in Google. But my mum, who i think can teach a thing or two to the blackmail artists, has gone a step ahead of all the above mentioned. She has decided not to eat Jalebi 

( her favorite Indian sweet ) till i agree to get married. If you guys think this is typical Bollywood or Hindi serial type. You are absolutely right. I laughed so hard when she told me about this, it irritated her even more. Told her i was gonna write about this here and that didn't bother her at all. She made a sad face and said its been five months of not having Jalebi.

Feel so bad about this 'cos i know how she loves it. Her birthdays are incomplete without them. Last birthday, dad got hot jalebis for her and she ate it all by the end of the day. There were more than ten, so that kinda scared us. But this time she's been so stubborn, tried enough to change her mind but of no use.. :-( 

Will wait for her next birthday and ask dad to get more than ten jalebis. Lets see how that goes.:-)

Say Sorry

I know a kid who'll say and do anything but apologize even when she's sure its her fault. Most of us say "kids are kids.. its OK". Maybe it is 'cos they don't know the impact of not apologizing.

But what about us? We have knowingly done so many mistakes and hurt people and not apologized just 'cos we don't want to accept our faults. Don't we know that not saying sorry might actually make us lose a well wisher? We do. Know it very well but we've programmed ourselves to ignore the voice from within telling us to apologize. We argue, fight and try our best to prove we are right though the voice says "You are an idiot, its your fault" to us every minute.

This has got to change. Saying sorry obviously makes us a better person and not lose the ones who care about us. So why not right?

Not saying I'm gonna change right away 'cos this a huge change in my attitude that can't happen overnight. But really going to try my best. 

Tired Tired Tired

I have been working for the past ten hours and can feel my eyes go blur every few minutes. Four cups of tea has not helped at all. Fact that I've not had good sleep for god knows how many days, is just adding up to tiredness. Usually reading few pages at night put me to sleep but that's changed as well and can probably finish reading a whole book in few hours nowadays. I'm physically very tired today but love that I'm occupied in work. I like this. 

Had to travel in a bus today to reach office and saw that people don't offer their seats to school children. This is so not right. Just one look at their tired face and heavy bags makes me feel bad. Also 'cos I've been through the same traveling in bus during my school days. Though it was for a short time, it was terrible.

On what basis do people judge before offering their seats? Can't we offer seats to those who look more tired than we are?It doesn't matter they are elderly or children. I don't know what people feel about this but to me this is the right thing to do. And i will follow this.

Don't let go

Its so easy to have hundreds of friends in facebook. But do we trust each and everyone of them? Its stupid of me to ask this question.

The real question is, Do we trust anyone at all? Do we even let ourself to? Is it hard to make friends in the kind of world we are living in now? Do we talk to anyone just to get to know them better and not have any other motive? No, we don't. Its always when we want to get something done, we talk to those who can help us.

I've seen that people even talk to someone for more than a year and don't consider them as their friends. I don't get this. Things are so complicated nowadays that no wonder i see many around me who don't even want to have a conversation with anyone for more than few minutes. They don't want to get involved in these twisted relationships where you call each other friends but try to put the other down and win over everything. I feel very sad to say that no relationship is simple and how its supposed to be. Even Friendship.

But if you have that person in your life, whom you can trust and who trusts you without thinking twice and you call each other friends, consider yourself very lucky and no matter what, don't let them go away.

Yes or No?

Do you feel irritated when someone gives you a not yes not no kinda answer? Its like when you ask a friend if she would like to order pizza and her answer is "i don't know". I usually give a rude look and place my order.

I try my best to give Yes or No answers. Not 'cos I'm not interested to build a conversation and DISCUSS about anything and everything. Though that's my reason most of the times with few people. Almost most of the questions, we can give yes/no answer. So why can't we all try to make up our minds and not give "I'm not sure" "i don't know" kinda answers?

Examples :

Do you want uncle chips? : YES

Do you want to play hide and seek?  : No

Can you talk?  : Yes

Can you say anything other than Yes/NO?  : Yes

So can you say it now ?  : No


You see what i mean now? Its as simple as that. Try it.. :-)

Anger management

When kids are angry, they scream, cry, roll on the floor screaming, not have a meal but might eat lot of sugar. How can we, so called grown ups react?

I'm very very angry right now. So angry that not able to put the reason in words. What am i supposed to do? How can i react to it? Though tempted to follow all of the above mentioned that kids follow, Its just not possible to even  try one of those and vent out my anger. Keeping calm and trying to look at the good side of things are not working right now. What do you guys do to show your anger and get it over with? Please let me know. If its something that i can try and still feel like a grown up, would love it.   

Till i get suggestions from you guys or anyone, will be having lot of sugar which might work. Screaming, crying and rolling on the floor might not make me look sane at my work place.

Right to eat at desk - LOST

A month back I was having Samosa at my desk at work. I saw the facility guy staring at me. Didn't take it seriously and continued eating. After like five minutes, facility manager comes up to me and says "Kavya, you are not supposed to have food at your desk". I was so embarrassed and should have just apologized and gone back to work. But i had to make fool out of myself more, so said " But its just Samosa" to which he replied "Its food" and then walked away. My work friends who were seated around me pretended not to hear all this and i thank them.

Today, few minutes back, was having cookies at my desk hiding it in a tissue. It worked. Only problem doing this was my fear. I was looking around for facility people every time i took a bite and this obviously didn't let me enjoy the cookie.
 

Moral : Once caught, can never enjoy the same mistake again.

Goa

Was in Goa over the weekend and enjoyed every bit of it. I did not spend much time taking pictures, just sat back and relaxed. It wasn't really about going to famous places in Goa, but i just spent lot of time at the resort and beach with family and it was great.

 I've changed my mind a little about traveling. Its actually fun when you have good company and don't have a planned list of places to visit where you are dead tired at the end of the day. Visiting new place every time you get a chance is great i guess, every weekend or month might not be possible, but i want to travel as much as possible now. This interest is new to me and i hope it lasts long.:-)

Here are few pictures i took over the weekend.

Try your best

Sometimes when we've been assigned lot of work or responsibilities, we panic, think about every single move, question our capabilities, worry about lack of experience in certain situations.

But we forget to remember that we have been handling few of the most important responsibilities very well. I'm talking about how we are trying our best to be a good daughter/son, brother/sister, parents, aunts/uncles and best of all friends. If you think i can't talk about doing a good job taking care of these relationships while saying trying our best, I believe and will always say that as long as we are able to put our best efforts into it, its working. We are doing a great job at managing all these responsibilities. 

As daughters and sons, we fall a lot, hurt our parents, make them cry, give them hell lot of reasons to worry about us. But there is always a point where we think about making them happy, proud of us and that's us trying our best and trust me it works.. :-)

As sisters and brothers, we get jealous, fight over things that don't really matter, make each other look bad to parents just to cover ourselves. But we do come to a day where as an elder sibling, you wish to see your younger one grow in life more than you. As a younger one, you wish to be just like your elder one and admire them. Though you might never accept this and talk about it face to face. 

I can't really talk about parents views and opinions as I'm not a mother yet. But the closest to feeling as a mother is having a niece. I have a smart and crazy niece who makes me think more than any of the current affairs do. I want the best for her. Want to change myself to be a better person just so she can get to see me a good aunt. Most of all i don't ever want to be an aunt who tells her what's right and wrong. Want to be that person she confides to when she makes a mistake and learns from it. 

At friendship, we always give in our hundred percent. We are completely ourselves with friends, no fake feelings, no real jealousy, no pretending, real joy over friend's happiness. 

Feel great about yourself for trying your best in life. Feel proud.. :-)

What is it?

 A friend of mine still has her clothes that were bought five years back. She's not ready to put them away. Its just kept in her closet and is looked at once a while when she feels like. Another friend of mine has kept few chocolate wrappers for more than eight years.

People keep movie tickets, paper cups, posters, pens and so many other things as it reminds them of someone or something special in their life. But I still have the sim card of my old phone number. Spice connection, which is now called Idea. I prefer Spice and still call it that. Its a pre-paid connection which I've not used for past five years. Don't think anyone other than my family and few very close friends have this phone number of mine. Yet i can't throw it away. No emotional attachment to it yet can't throw it. While buying a new phone, let go of the one i liked 'cos it was a single sim phone. Bought a dual sim one just to keep both sims. 

Have thought about this and can't think of any reason for my action. It freaks me out.

My question : Is it just the emotional attachment that make us keep things like phones, movie tickets and stuff? If its not attachment, What is it?

Flashback

I've read in so many books about how forgiveness is one of the greatest power and how it makes us a better person. There has been days when I've thought about this and let go of my anger and hurt and spoken to those who hurt me. And I've never regretted those decisions 'cos i let go of my anger for those who care about me and didn't really mean to hurt me.

How did i get to know that they didn't mean to hurt me? Obviously by talking to them about it. I agree with those who say they can't talk to people who hurt them. I take my own time to come in terms with myself after getting hurt, think about what was wrong in the whole situation. Its hard to think about what went wrong 'cos we start thinking about who went wrong. Which doesn't take us in the right way.  If we continue to have blame the other person thought process, can never make up our mind to even try sorting things with them.

One other way that has worked with me in sorting things with a friend or anyone in that case is what i call flashback. Talk about the days where you both had lot of fun, talk about how each others ideas and suggestions helped, talk about things that made you both laugh before the fight or the argument. This has worked with few friends of mine who fought with me and things went back to the way they were after giving a tour to our flashback.. :-)

What I'm trying to say here is take time to think about it, find out if you really matter to them and give a try to sort things. If it doesn't, then they don't deserve to have you in their life.

Here & There

Was at the Orchid Show organized by The Orchid Society of Karnataka at Lalbagh. They were so beautiful.

Here are few pictures taken by me.

Post by Vagmi R Bhat

A small baby needs fifteen hours of sleep because they need to grow up more.

A grown up child needs twelve hours of sleep to grow a little more.

An adult needs six to seven hours of sleep because they are already grown up.

But my 23 year old grown up chikki (Kavya) sleeps for fifteen hours. What can i do?

Thanks,

Vagmi

Thank you

Was talking to a friend of mine about how we never thank those who make our lives better everyday. It can be our cab drivers, facility guys at work, cafeteria guys and so many more. How many of us have ever thanked them? I haven't thanked them all enough is what I'm sure of.

I don't get what the problem here might be. Is it lack of expressing our feelings or just taking them for granted and don't see a point in thanking? Or if we get into the habit of thanking all those who help us everyday, will we be saying "Thank you" more than other words. I think to some extent we all do take them for granted. I know most of us don't mean that in bad way where we treat them differently. Its just that after few days we have an understanding with them and don't really think of thanking and apologizing. Just like how we take our family and friends for granted and don't go thanking them for everything. This understanding is good but once in a while its nice to acknowledge what they are doing for us.

I've heard my cab mate thank our driver everyday for the past seven months or more. I want to know how both feel about it. Will try to ask them about this. Has it become a habit to my cab mate to thank? Is driver hearing him thank everyday? How does he feel about every employee who travels in his cab thanking him everyday? Will he get irritated? I don't have the answers to these yet, but i do for one.

Will these questions make the driver uncomfortable while answering? YES 'cos my driver never speaks more than two words.. :-)

Dream job

Have you felt happiness when you've been so occupied with work that you forget about other things going on in life?

Being busy with work is a good thing. (Once in a while) Was so busy past three days that i could actually shut my mind towards everything else and just think about work. Yes, was physically tired end of the day but had a feeling of content with what i was doing. I call this happiness as i enjoy working. When they ask me how long i plan to work, all i can think of saying is as long as i enjoy working, i will. The day i feel I'm not happy with what it, will quit.

Was talking to a friend of mine and was surprised to hear about her dream job. She wants to clean the windows of really tall buildings. Another friend of mine always wanted to be a traffic cop. My niece wants to be a security guard to the locality we live in. A colleague of mine wants to be a truck driver. My dream job is to have a library or a book store of my own.

It feels great to think and talk about it, but how many of us really work towards making our dream jobs come true? What stops us from trying? Is it fear of not earning enough from it? Or do we not know where to start?

Come to think of it, my friend can get in touch with the facilities people and get trained on how to clean windows and give it a try. Friend can talk to a traffic police and learn about how they manage traffic and help him out. I'm sure Bangalore police would be happy to have another person to help with the traffic. If my niece wants to be a security guard even when she reaches the age to work, i would encourage her to work towards it. I can get in touch with my friends who read a lot, collect all the books and have a small library on weekends.

The problem i see is even in this post, I've said "I can" and not "I will". I can't expect and advice others to work towards making their dream jobs come true until i do so with mine.

Friendship

Is friendship measured through the number of friends in your Facebook account?

I can't even believe people measure friendship, its ridiculous that they talk about it as a subject to be proud of. One of my mum's friend proudly declared that her daughter has more than thousand friends in Facebook. Mum obviously had no idea about all this. So when she asked me how many friends i had. She was worried that i didn't have many friends. Its only when i explained about how people can accept stranger's requests and call them as friends, she felt better.

Another way of measuring I've come across is the way people talk about how strong their friendship is 'cos of the number of years they've known each other for. I can't agree to this at all. You can have a great friendship with someone you've known only for a month or two. Its also possible to call someone your friend for more than ten years and talk bad behind their back.

All I'm saying is lets not try to measure friendship. Its pure and not something that needs to be declared by us. Its like how they say about power. If we really have the power, we don't need to show it. Its seen. If we really have great friends, don't have to talk about it. The world can see the happiness of friendship in our eyes and smile.

Diwali

Gone are the days when we celebrated Diwali for three whole days. Miss going to Malleshwaram ground to buy crackers, buying three sets of clothes for three days, scared to burst the first cracker and when it doesn't burst, being worried about the whole cracker box. Running around at the last minute to find a bottle for the rockets. Looking at the night sky which would be colorful only for those three days. Its not just the crackers and the lights i miss. Its the excitement people had few years back to visit family and friends on festivals.

I don't really see that nowadays. Forget about festivals, even on normal days we don't just go to our friend's place now. We call and find out if they are free before meeting them. We make plans to meet and don't keep up. 

Can we go back to being the way we were? Is it possible to go back when all we think about is the future?

Dream/Reality

I have a friend who thinks people who love reading live in a book world and can't accept reality.

Being a person having more books than clothes, i don't agree with this at all. Most of you book lovers wouldn't agree I'm sure. But i do say that while reading, i go into a different world and think through the characters of the book. This does not mean we can't see the reality.  If we were living as per the books we read, you think we would be buying our jewellery from those gold palaces and other shops? Wouldn't we be expecting everything from the Tiffany.?

Lets assume for a minute that we are living in our book world. Would we survive in it for a long time in this over crowded city? Is it possible to have silky untangled hair after a long ride in our Bangalore? How often do you see a girl falling right in front of a taxi and being helped by a handsome man who would like to have coffee with her? In reality the moment girl falls, more than hundred people would get into a fight with the driver and forget all about helping her. We might be able to live in a dream world. But for very short time.

My advice :  As long you are in a dream world, have fun. Once you are out of it, continue having fun.. :-)

Mind games

Its a strange feeling when you have time to do what you like and yet end up doing something else and feel bad about it later. To me this happens all the time. Going back home from work, i make all possible plans to read for few hours, write if possible and then go to sleep. But i go home, have dinner in ten minutes, watch TV for four hours and sleep. Next morning i feel bad for my book and decide to read at night. God.. This really happens everyday.

I'm sure many of you out there have gone through this 'cos i hear so many around me saying they have all the time to spend on things they want to, but never really get to it. So I'm thinking.. What is this? Laziness? It can't be 'cos we are doing something else at the same time. Even if we are just staring at the wall at that time.. what can i say? That's not being lazy, its called crazy.

OK.. I'm going away from what i had in mind. Oh.. I guess this can be another reason. We go away from what we have in mind. Our mind just forgets. Everyday.

I'm gonna stop before my mind decides to go on a different direction.

Song

I have been listening to the song Rolling in the Deep for past so many days that it just won't go out of my mind. But its not Adele's i've been listening to. Its by Angela Vazquez from Vazquez Sounds that i just can't stop listening. This girl can sing so well. My god. I guess most of you might have heard this song by her 'cos she's so famous. A friend of mine made me listen to her and i've not been able to stop after that. 

Pain post

If you are someone who thinks physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain, you've obviously not gone through wisdom tooth pain. 

This is really killing me. Really. I can feel myself going down hour by hour. Not able to eat, sleep, work, watch television. Nothing Nothing. Even watching the stupidest videos not helping me. This pain is making me fight with everyone, get irritated for things that don't really matter, take the elevators, listen to songs which i don't  usually listen to, not smiling at the reception lady. I din't even have green tea today. Oh god. have i gone mad? 

Worst part of it all is staying hungry and not able to eat. Which is making me angry at those who are able to eat. That's everyone around me. 


P.S : If anyone comments " Have fruit juice" I will delete the comment.  

P.P.S : You see how rude this pain is making me? :-( 

Fall and Learn

The lane i stay in is so dug up that it’s tempting to take a long way to reach home just to avoid jumping and falling.

Yes i fall a lot. It happened just day before. Around two in the afternoon, on a call with a friend, i fell right into where it was dug. Same night at nine without the street lights, i walked home without even kicking myself once. What do you say for that?

In the daylight when i could see the road clearly, i fell. At night when it was very dark, nothing happened.

I can't stop thinking about this. Do we fall even when we can see very well? Is it our fault that we take things so light that we go blind on the road ahead of us? Mum had told me not to talk over phone while walking in my lane as I’ve fallen many times.

This is another thing. Even when people advice us against something as they've seen or had a bad experience, we still go ahead do it and fall. Why?

I know why I do it. Would rather fall, get hurt and learn than never having to know how to deal with it. Many have argued with me about this that sometimes we might never be able to get up from the fall. To which all I can is, if we want to... really want to get up, we can. I can’t think of any other better answer than that.

No tv today

Its raining in Bangalore for past god knows how many hours and its beautiful. Can't believe I'm saying this 'cos I never really talk about the weather and I hate rain. But today its amazing here. Long weekend, have a good book, mum to cook, phone switched off, chocolate truffle and lots of potato chips. All perfect except for one thing. There's power cut here, UPS died few hours back and I can't live without watching television for at least three hours a day.

So I'm right in thinking that just when we feel everything's fine, something goes wrong to make you realize that life's not perfect and can never be. But we need to understand that no matter what happens, this day will pass just like every other. And one day in the future we will think about what went wrong and smile about it thinking how much a better person we are today for facing it and learning from it.



 

Jealous? You are fine

A friend of mine thinks i'm stupid to feel jealous looking at beautiful girls. My friends have called me stupid many times for numerous reasons but this is not one that i'm ready to accept. How can anyone think its stupid to feel jealousy? If you've never been jealous of someone, then its time to get yourself checked 'cos its not normal. I've been jealous of so many things and people that its one of those emotions that i go through very often. Very very often.

Guys feel jealousy is something only girls feel. Really??? So tell me.. Don't you boys feel the pinch of jealousy when you see a tall dark handsome rich famous guy driving your favorite car? What am i saying pinch? You guys would be drowning in the ocean of jealousy. 

Its just that i'm fine with it and talk about my jealousy but few hide it and pretend to be completely fine with each and every other person in the whole world. 

Just the fact that i'm fine by talking out loud about what i really feel proves enough to me that its not stupid.. :-) 

Newspaper

The minute i woke up today, was asked by mum to go to the bank for some bank stuff i hate. Obviously not a good start to my day and din't want to make it worse by arguing, so agreed. On my way to the bank the auto driver gives me the newspaper, asks me to read the main page article and tell him what i think of it. I was shocked and worried. Shocked 'cos this was bit strange to me and worried 'cos i've never read newspaper other than just looking at pictures in Bangalore Times. 

Was really worried what he think if said i don't read newspaper. You might say we need not worry about what people think of us. But i do care. So took the paper from him and pretended to read till i reached the bank. Am i smart or what? :-) Minute i reached, thanked him and walked away. 

But it doesn't end there people. Came out of the bank once done and the same auto was present and no other. Oh god..!! I can't put to words what i went through that moment. I got in the auto and started going through my contact in phone to look busy. But that din't stop him from asking my opinion on the article. Could've just said " Its a great article" or " I don't quite agree with it" kinda opinions but decided to get it over with by telling the truth. So told him i din't read the paper. he din't say anything till i reached home. 

When i got down and gave the fare, he said " Sorry madam, i thought you could read". How could i explain my lack of interest in reading newspapers to him? So just smiled and walked back home. 

Home

Its a whole different feeling to visit a place you have love. You feel at home even though you lived there for short time. That place to me is Malleshwaram in Bangalore. Its so full of color and energy that every time i'm there, don't feel like leaving. I spent my childhood there and though my friends don't live there anymore, just looking at mine and friend's old houses brings back memories that brings a smile on my face. Its the twenty bucks pizza, MTR softie ice cream and just walking down the ever busy 8th cross that i  miss the most. So mum and I visit this place every tiny chance we get. She loves it just as much as i do. 

So when we were in 8th cross just to eat the pizza, i took few pictures 'cos that's all i've been doing lately.